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Friday, September 4, 2009

Sensory Writing Hearing

http://margaretnoble.net/blog/frogs-and-ny-chatter/

The sound that I focused on was a series of different scenes going around in my head, and very hard to keep track of what I was actually listening to.The title of the sounds was "Frogs and NY Chatter", which really doesn't describe the full magnitude of what it actually sounds like. Confusing, as it was, had a simplistic beat to it that could be followed. Frogs in the jungle, whispering to each other, in a sort of eerie tone. I could almost feel the humidity of the jungle closing in on me. I sensed that they were telling secrets to each other. The flutist came in the background. In my head he looked like an old monk with a orange robe on. It sounded as if he was trying to calm the forest down with his melody as the jungle roared with thunder. It worked. The forest was calm but the chirping of the frogs kept a steady pace that was not to be broken. But then, came in, quietly but swiftly, the people of New York. The wave of people overtook the frogs whispers. The flutist, still playing a melody. That whole scene of the New Yorkers, and the calming flutist painted a strange picture in my head. The flutist, which was originally a monk, became a homeless man in time square with nothing but a flute. He played his heart out just to get some money to buy food. Playing his heart out, he levitated and the New York Buzz went away, and the ocean overtook them and the flutist vanished. Now, just the calming sounds of the ocean and the forest of frogs made the jungle seem alive. The feeling of little waves crashing upon my feet made the sounds sound even more serene. It went on and on and then....done.

4 comments:

Camelia Stout said...

The part of his description that captured me was how he described the two sounds and how they merged together. He paints a picture rather than just saying what he hears. He talks about the melody and what it means to him rather than just saying what it was.
He described his sound using frogs in the jungle and people in New York, and he ended it all with the ocean overtaking everything else. Many things were going on at once, but he managed to describe the series of different scenarios. He describes what stays the same and what becomes different throughout the sound.
I personally thought this was good, and you could really see the picture... I guess that one way to liven it up more would be maybe to compare it to other things that he's heard around him. There wasn't really much i would change about this... i thought it was pretty good.

Anonymous said...

The part that captured me the most was the part when you described the new yorkers coming in and drowing the sound of the frogs.Nothing could stop the sound of new yorkers.Then you decribed the ocean coming in sweeping out the new yorkers.

You decribed your sound so well,but in the beginning you didn't talk about your sound.I liked how you decribed the frogs noise.I loved how the story ended with the ocean.

You could have decribed your sound frist and never put in that other stuff about yourself.You could have put more words in the part with the sound.That is what you could have done to make your sound come to life more.

Diana--HTHMA said...

Noah, I would have to say that my favorite part of this piece is the area that you spoke of the flutist who played his heart out, so much that he levitated from the New York busy scene back into tranquility. You not only selected rich language but seemed to capture the sound clip in that moment. It did seem however like you were trying to just fill in the writing requirement which is why you added the beginning sentences, for future references just stick to the prompt. Excellent incorporation though on the various sounds occurring. 17/20--dcs

Diana--HTHMA said...

Noah, Much better job of staying focused on the assignment. I really liked the part where you talked about the monk calming down the jungle, very beautiful 19/20--dcs